Good luck trying to define normal in any relationship. Who is ‘normal’? What in the hell is ‘normal’? Society has put such constraints and judgment on anything that doesn’t fall into a picturesque image of a photo-shopped 2.5 member family, picket fence, and a medium-sized rescue dog. That is not real life. Some may like to attempt to conform to that image and find acceptance from society; I imagine that most find misery in trying to achieve it. Ultimately, I think that trying to play a part and act happy is a fantasy within itself.
We all have sexual fantasies, brains, and sex organs. With the combination of those three things, we are doomed to ever be just like anybody else. Fetishes, fantasies, and even just risqué thoughts are a lot more fun when you have a trusted partner, with whom you can share them. Being able to open up to Dave was the most freeing year of my life. No judgment, just the ability to be human. We have had our ups and downs, dramatic arguments but the funny this is that these don’t exist now. We are vulnerable, exposed, and completely naked inside and out to each other. There is nothing to hide or to lash out about anymore. Naturally, I will still get agitated when he forgets to grab the passports off the counter on the way to the airport. That is not the type of agitation or fighting I am talking about obviously.
I can’t speak for all people, but I would guess that quite a few members of strictly monogamous relationships hold secrets that they would not divulge to the partner to whom they have promised their life. What is the point of having a relationship that only allows you to be what your partner expects you to be? In my opinion, whatever that is worth, love means you accept a person, especially in all those things we are taught to repeat during the traditional vow ceremonies. Learning to love your partner on an unselfish level is the most powerful thing that you can gift a relationship. I notice that the level of trust that was not always there before the lifestyle is completely different. This idea probably makes no sense to those outside of the swinging lifestyle, but it truly is hard to understand until you experience it. Life is short, live it. Hopefully, you can find a way to be who you are with the person that you love the most; it was the greatest gift we ever gave each other.