Can two people remain monogamous for a lifetime? Absolutely. Do most people? Probably not. Couples that choose to be in an open marriage are most likely realistic about the feasibility of monogamy. The mindset of many in the swinging lifestyle is that being faithful is more about being completely open and honest with your partner, rather than deceit.
There are benefits to having an open relationship. Surprisingly, the fact that you actually can be brought closer to your partner. Having an open relationship, or ‘swinging’ is not for everyone. But those that do delve into the naughty abyss, often find that their relationship is stronger and sexier than ever.
I found that my husband and I understand each other better. There were things that neither of us ever divulged since societal norms told us that feeling different than what we had been taught was not acceptable. Being able to listen to each other’s fantasies and then work together actually to make them a reality is the sexiest part of the lifestyle to us.
It may seem nonsensical, but it is true, by opening up our relationship and offering complete honesty, we are closer and happier than at any other point in our relationship. There are no more hiding or secrets.
Instead of feeling jealous or insecure, I am my hubby’s wing-man. I help him get ready when we are meeting with another couple. I give him advice on what to say or how to handle situations. It’s fun, like dating all over again.
The great part about non-monogamy is the option to do it as little or as much as you would like. There is no rule as to how often you ‘play’ in the lifestyle. Some people make the lifestyle a weekly plan, while others only get their freak on once or twice a year. It all depends on your personal decision. The great thing about having an open marriage is that you make the rules.
When I was able to act out my fantasies, it made my husband more attractive to me. I saw other people want him, and this rekindled how I felt when I met him. I saw all the things that used to give me butterflies all over again. It is a strange dynamic to explain if you have never experienced this firsthand.
I used to be a jealous person, and I was even jealous when my husband watched porn. Now I have a different outlook; when he is turned on, it turns me on. Instead of feeling like I have to keep him under a rock and demand, he doesn’t look at others to lust.
We found ourselves having a deeper connection when there are no secrets. We discovered each other in a way that we would never have imagined. I believe that we all have our kink. We all have something that turns us on and vice versa. Most of us push some of that kink down and repress it because we are embarrassed or ashamed of those thoughts. This allows those thoughts and fantasies a safe place to be displayed. We are all human, and we have needs and thoughts. There is no right or wrong answer, only what you and your partner decide.