Too much of a good thing is not always a good thing. The lifestyle is so exciting when it is new, talk about sensory overload! However, there is a need to reel back to reality regularly. Now that we have some time in the LS under our wing, it is easy for us to spot ‘newbies gone loco’ because we did the same thing. If you are not careful, the ultra-energy and excitement can wear on your partner and your relationship. It can feel like a drug or that high that you experienced when you first met your partner. You may experience excitement, the feeling of wanting to be the best you can be. You will find yourself motivated to eat right, hit the gym and groom like you haven’t done in years. All of these things are positive, but you should be cautious not to let it outshine your relationship. This is something new, but it does not replace what you already have and love. Make sure know when to take a step back and nurture what is a priority, your relationship. Open relationships, swinging, consensual non-monogamy enhance what is already good, only making it better. Sometimes Dave and I would ‘get our fix’ so to speak. We would have a sexy evening and great re-connection sex, and then we would be good for a while. The sites that you may be signed up on will still send you those sexy messages making it tempting to communicate and set up another sexy date.
Make sure you are ‘dating’ in moderation if it becomes to feel like an obligation to either or both of you, game over. Take a step back and maybe turn off your notifications from those sites just until the mood strikes again. The fun thing about the Lifestyle is that you control your play level and frequency. Be careful not to let communication or the feeling of obligation impede on your personal life in any way. Keep your lines of communication open and check in with your partner regularly. Some people only play on vacation, and some people play weekly. You will find your sweet spot, make sure that everyone is having fun. The moment that stress makes its way into your play, game over. Step back, talk things out, and reconvene with a new plan. Your relationship is the priority; everything else is just a cherry on top….and maybe whipped cream, and nuts.