Your mother probably reminded you often to mind your manners, especially when away from home. Bennett Cerf said, “Good manners is the noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.” Manners are just as important in the swinging lifestyle as in any other facet of life, if not more important. You are entering into a very intimate situation with very vulnerable people. Keep in mind that sensitivity to feelings and being considerate is important; this is not a situation to become an animal. Make your mother proud, well, you know what I mean.
When you are on a date with another couple, keep in mind that you are being interviewed. If you don’t treat them or the people around you well, it will likely affect your future play potential. It is just keeping in line with being a good human to treat wait staff or anybody else with decency.
Dave and I were on a date that was going pretty well. There was a four-way attraction and we decided to move from dinner to the local club to dance it up. The other couple drove, so while we were waiting on the valet to bring their car around the valet manager approached us very gingerly and told us that the car’s battery was dead. He offered to arrange to jump the car off for our friend. Life can throw curve-balls at you, for instance, your battery dying on a much-anticipated swinger date. However, it wasn’t the end of the world, just an inconvenience. What happened next, I did not anticipate. Our gentlemen friend began berating the valet worker and arguing that this was his fault. I believe part of his reaction was embarrassment. The car in question was very new and likely did not just have a bad battery all of a sudden, it was likely that it was the fault of the valet leaving the lights on or something to that end. However, it was a mistake and nobody deserved being publicly attacked for something so trivial, in my opinion. It was a very cold night and this young man was offering to jump the car. Regardless as to if the valet attendant deserved it or not, the reaction from the mister was an instant turn off for me. He cock-blocked himself by losing his marbles on this poor guy. It was a dead battery, and it was not the end of the world. What made it worse was his wife tried to intervene and suggested that he take a deep breath before he assaulted the poor guy, and he snapped at his wife. Deal breaker! If you want to get lucky on a lifestyle date, do not publicly tell your wife to ‘keep her mouth shut’ in front of your potential hook up. We excused ourselves and called an Uber to go home. People are people, and nobody is better than anybody else. I appreciate the hard work of those that are in an industry to ‘serve’ others. They are not there as punching bags and sometimes things are not perfect. Consider the situation, learn some breathing techniques or more importantly, have some empathy. If you can’t learn to laugh off the small stuff, you will likely be a very miserable and unsuccessful swinger! Just some food for thought.