Jess & Brandon model a “how-to-talk-about-sex” conversation in response to a listener’s question — they share their unprepared responses on the spot. They also weigh in on spicing up date night, watching web-cam models, sex clubs, sleeping after sex & how long to wait before having sex with a new partner.

Please find a rough summary of the podcast below. We are working on providing full transcripts for all podcasts.

Welcome to the SexWithDrJess Podcast. I’m Jessica O’Reilly, your friendly neighbourhood sexologist and I’m here with my better half, Brandon Ware.

Today, we’ll be answering listener questions about sex and relationships.

Before we get started, I’d like to thank Desire Resorts for their support and remind you that we’ll be facilitating workshops at both properties in Mexico on October 24-25, 2018. More details can be found here.

Question: I listened to your podcast on sex clubs and we’ve talked about going, but I’m just not there yet. I’m fine with watching porn, but the idea of real live people freaks me out. My girlfriend really wants to go and you always say to take baby steps, so is there something we can try in the meantime until I’m ready?

Just talk about going and play around with the idea. Go to dinner and drive by a club without going in — make out in the car instead. Or talk about all the naughty things you’ll do at a club while having sex at home — with no pressure to follow through in real life.

Not everyone likes sex clubs and you certainly don’t have to visit one if you’re not into it.

Another option…

Sign into an adult webcam room featuring another couple.

This may be a little risque, but more couples are joining in on the fun from the safety of their own bedrooms. Webcam models perform live and you can even make requests if you’d like. The couples I’ve met who visit webcams (often for special occasions) say that they like the spontaneity and the fact that they’re not overproduced like porn. If you’re considering this option, talk to your partner ahead of time to discuss your concerns and desires. Some questions you might want to address:

1. If we do this together, does it mean we can do it alone? Set boundaries and agree on what is acceptable within the confines of your relationship. Don’t worry about what others (including experts) have to say. You decide what is dis/allowed in your own relationship as a team.

2. Are we willing to interact (chat) with the models or just watch?

3. Are you nervous about the experience? What makes you nervous? What can your partner do to assuage your concerns?

4. If you feel uncomfortable at any point, how will you address this? Will you close the computer? Take a break? Use a sign to communicate your discomfort?

5. If you’re using a pay site (many offer free access), what spending limit do you want to set?

Be honest about your desires and boundaries. You are not a prude if you’re not into adult webcams. You don’t have to do everything to have a happy relationship and satisfying sex life.

Question: I saw your story about UberEats as date night and I voted yes on both accounts and I’m wondering what you and Brandon do for date night cuz you look so happy together.

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Question: I saw your post on Instagram about having intense conversations. Can you give me some examples of questions I can ask my…