The swinging lifestyle has its challenges. It works well for a secure couple that is sexually uninhibited and curious about expanding their sexual fantasies beyond just their partner. Taking part in this lifestyle will likely be a disaster if both partners are not completely into the idea of it or if there are underlying unresolved issues. The swinging lifestyle is not going to repair a recent heartbreak or transgression within a marriage. The good news is that if your marriage is solid and you have discussed ‘out of the box’ fantasies etc., then this may be sexy option for you to explore.
Many couples are unsure how to become ‘swingers,’ it is pretty easy. The best way to find local swingers is by setting up an online profile. An online profile on a secure site like Double Date Nation allows you a safe and secure environment to control your level of privacy. Double Date Nation also gears toward the ‘newbies’ with less aggressive options. If a couple is new to the lifestyle or just ‘browsing,’ Double Date Nation offers a ‘double date’ option. This option allows you to set up a date that involves no expectation of anything beyond dinner or cocktails. Choosing the ‘Double Date’ status informs the other couple that you are not interested in moving toward anything sexual. This option allows for sexy, unfiltered conversation. It is a great first step(s) into deciding if the swinging lifestyle is something you and your partner have an interest in joining. When you and your partner feel like the lifestyle is something you are interested in, set boundaries and COMMUNICATE! Talk things out and be honest. The conversations will be very strange at first, mostly because we have been taught to only share ‘acceptable’ thoughts and fantasies with others.
It takes quite a while to admit to your partner that you are sexually attracted to another person, or that you are sexually attracted to them being with another person. What a lot of people do not realize is that there is a sexual satisfaction that many people get from just watching their partner with someone else. The term for expressly enjoying someone you love to be satisfied by another person is compersion. You may not even know that you enjoy this until you experience it. Some people enter the lifestyle, thinking it is all about partner swapping when they realize that they like to watch their partner satisfied with another person or people. You will likely find your kink, fetish, or discover new fantasies altogether. The best part is that you get to do it with a ‘wingman,’ your partner. The conversations that you will have in public after you enter the lifestyle will be ones that you NEVER imagined you would have together. It is so much fun! One game Dave and I have regularly is trying to figure out who else around us are secret swingers.
One thing stands true; the swinging lifestyle opens up doors that have likely never been opened in your relationship. Opening these doors allows for sexy memories and some very intense reconnection sex!