Do ‘Swingers’ Get Jealous?


Double Date Nation - Do ‘Swingers’ Get Jealous?Short answer, yes. Those who are in an open relationship will likely experience normal emotional responses. It can happen, jealousy can creep in. Communication is so important. The intentionality may be completely innocent during an explicit experience, but how your partner perceives could be opposite. It is possible to have communicated with your partner before a lifestyle experience, and the perception of the actual event can still be ambiguous. You do what you can to prevent the issue, but if and when it does arise you should be prepared to deal with it, head-on. It is not difficult to see when your partner is upset, whether it be from directly stating it to even being passive-aggressive. 

Full disclosure and re-connection are important after a lifestyle experience, especially when something seems amiss. It has happened to all of us. Handling this correctly and delicately can help you both learn from the issue and make sure that blurred lines are cleared up. Your relationship is monolithic, and it is important to ensure your partner that if something was done, that could be considered hurtful, it was not the intent, and it will not happen again. Intent can be misconstrued, and it could be that your partner is upset about something that you have done dozens of times in the past, but this time was different. Keep in mind that having an open relationship requires patience and understanding. There is not a specific set of guidelines; these are ever-changing. Perception can mean everything from one lifestyle experience to another. Also, try to avoid rushing to a snap judgment if you are the one upset or hurt. Talk things out. If it doesn’t seem that talking it out is helpful, take a step back, regroup and return to the conversation later.

If necessary, take some time off from profiles and focus on your relationship. The swinging lifestyle is a hobby, and it is an addition to what is already a stable, loving relationship. Be careful not to confuse that with a requirement or expectation. Supplementing your sex life is a bonus, but you and your partner’s trust and connection should always come first. Regroup, talk it out and most importantly LISTEN! Try not to over talk; this is especially hard when you know that you have done nothing intentional. Hear what your partner is saying, reflect on it, and then respond. Or if you need some time to think about it, say just that. 

Try to put yourself in their shoes and truly understand how they may have seen the situation regardless of your intent being innocent. If you show your partner that you can reflect and respond in an understanding way, this will only strengthen your relationship regardless if you ever play in the lifestyle again. Jealousy is normal; keep in mind that we are sharing our most intimate side with other people. These types of situations can leave us vulnerable. You may never encounter this situation, but if you do approach it with humility and an open mind. 



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