DDN Blog

By Admin Andi

We Have Fantasies, but What is ‘Normal’?

Good luck trying to define normal in any relationship. Who is ‘normal’? What in the hell is ‘normal’? Society has put such constraints and judgment on anything that doesn’t fall into a picturesque image of a photo-shopped 2.5 member family, picket fence, and a medium-sized rescue dog. That is not real life. Some may like to attempt to conform to that image and find acceptance from society; I imagine that most find misery in trying to achieve it. Ultimately, I think that trying to play a part and act happy is a fantasy within itself. We all have sexual fantasies, brains, and sex organs. With the combination of those three things, we are doomed to ever be just like anybody else. Fetishes, fantasies, and even just risqué thoughts are a lot more fun when you have a trusted partner, with whom you can share them. Being able to open up to Dave was the most freeing year of my life. No judgment, just the ability to be human. We [...]

What is a Swinger?

The age-old question, or not. What is a swinger exactly? The stigma of the word ‘swinger’ takes many people back to the 1960s and 1970s where free love was ‘in style’ as if it were a phase. This term turns this turns a lot of people off. Some people refer to the ‘lifestyle’ or the ‘swinging scene’ or just the ‘scene.’ There is no incorrect way to address it. The term ‘monogamish’ has become popular as well as consensual non-monogamy or ethical non-monogamy. Whatever you choose to call it, it is something that has always been going on and seems to be trending up in popularity. There is no way to tell if that because more people are doing it or more people are just being honest about doing it. People tend to keep the utmost discretion while engaging in these types of open relationships. Essentially a swinger is a couple that engages in sexual activity with people outside of their monogamous relationship but typically together. This can include [...]

How do you find swingers?

Firstly, I usually check under the bed. Ok, seriously. ‘Swingers’ are not that easy to find. There are websites that people can discreetly sign up on to help, like Double Date Nation, but not everyone sets up a profile in the lifestyle. Often people choose to meet others organically; they don’t want to compromise their discretion for anything. For the record, many people dislike the term ‘lifestyle’ or ‘swinger’; they prefer to call it an open relationship or consensual non-monogamy. Other people could care less what you call it, they are just glad to be there! If you choose to attempt to find others organically, you may have your work cut out for you. It will help to start with having a very outgoing personality. You can look for the ‘symbols’ of swingers like a black ring worn on the right hand, or an upside-down pineapple in a grocery cart on Tuesday nights at the local grocery store (urban legend). But then once you approach someone that you feel [...]