DDN Blog

Breaking the ‘Chains’

Monogamy is the act of a person being married to one person at a time. Does that mean that we can still enjoy the physical touch of someone outside of that marriage? With an open mind, many couples are turning to ethical non-monogamy. Having an open relationship is the choice of opening their relationship to sex with others. Some people practice polygamy, which is more of an emotional relationship with others, that is another blog. Non-monogamous couples report that their relationships are stronger when they ‘play’ outside of just the two of them. With boundaries in place and fantasies discussed and open relationship can blossom into the ability to make fantasy real life. Let’s start with being open-minded. If you can’t listen, without judgment to your partner's fantasies and kinks, then non-monogamy may not be for you. You must have the ability to love them unconditionally, even when they tell you things you are not expecting. Many men hold back their bisexual curiosity because of fear of ridicule. You [...]

Tips for Having a Successful Open Relationship

What does it mean to have an open relationship? Monogamish, swinging, polyamory, there are many terms that could describe open relationships. How do you know if this kind of relationship is good for you? Some people find themselves drifting toward being more open minded after a specific sexual experience, like a threesome. Threesomes are often the gateway to swinging lifestyle. One reason to avoid opening your relationship is to attempt to repair damage caused in the past due to infidelity or abuse. Take heed, open relationships are not for the faint of heart. It takes trust and faith in each other to achieve the benefits. Start off with listing your boundaries, have an open minded discussion. Be willing to listen as easily as you speak. You may not expect what you hear your partner state their fantasies or kinks are. Don’t react with judgment or you risk having your partner clam up. These discussions should be a safe place to be real without ridicule. Be prepared to evolve and [...]

By |2020-01-21T05:40:36+00:00January 10th, 2020|Open Marriage, Open Relationship, Swinger Lifestyle|0 Comments

Why Would Anyone Become a Swinger?

My vanilla friends ask the age-old question, “why?” That is such a loaded question. The answer varies, as does the diversity of people that are involved in the swinging lifestyle. Conservative views of marriage are that it is built on love and monogamy only. People become involved in the swinging lifestyle for many reasons. Some people may have been married for decades, and although they are best friends and inexplicably in love, they crave spark. Life is satisfying based on their combined accomplishments, family and careers. Retirees that I have met in the lifestyle travel the world and enjoy expanding their minds and experiences. It has been described to me as being the best time in their lives; children are grown and gone from home. Now they take time for themselves. Others find themselves in the swinging lifestyle because of bisexual curiosity. It takes courage to open up about sexuality, but sometimes it is even tougher to open up about bisexuality. The swinging lifestyle is a place that curiosities [...]

Can a Happily Married Couple be Successful Swingers?

My initial response is that ONLY happy couples are successful as swingers! The swinger lifestyle is a complex one. Often the stereotypical view of ‘swingers’ is that it is a huge orgy or group sex party every weekend. While it might be for some, in my experience, that is not how it has been for me. It is not for the faint of heart, but it is extremely powerful in bringing two (or more) people together on many levels. If you are in a relationship that has a sturdy foundation of trust, then that is a good place to start. Swinging opens up many doors emotionally and psychologically. I would imagine that most people don’t wake up and decide that they are going to become swingers without any forethought. In my case, it was an ongoing discussion of fantasies and desires. In my conservative upbringing, an open relationship was cheating, plain and simple. There is no grey area, no room for being human. The conversation evolved to more ‘taboo’ [...]

How is Swinging Different from Cheating?

Picture it; I am enjoying my self-mixed vodka and orange juice at a lifestyle club recently. I am approached by a woman that made sure that I knew first thing that she was only there because her crazy friends dared her to go after happy hour. I introduced myself sensing her discomposure, assuming that she could use a friend.  I asked her what her thoughts were about our surroundings at that point. She told me that she couldn’t possibly understand how what ‘these people’ were taking part in is not considered cheating. Cheating? I was taken back a bit, and I guess I have never looked at the swinging lifestyle in that way. I try to see different perspectives, so I continued with the conversation. I asked her to give me her definition of cheating. She realized almost instantly that the definition did not fit the activities in the club that night. The words that come to mind when I define ‘cheating’ is- deception, fornication, affair. None of these [...]

Party Foul

Here are some faux pas for swinging lifestyle etiquette, in the eyes of Admin Andi for what it’s worth.  Do NOT- Have sex in the lifestyle without using protection, ever, ever, ever. Cover it up or all bets are off.  Do NOT- Post outdated or overly photo-shopped pictures on your online profile. Why would you? Once you meet, the truth is exposed. Save everyone time, be honest up front. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re sexy just the way you are.  Do NOT- Lie to your spouse. Always keep clear lines of communication, the truth can hurt but lying is never acceptable.  Do NOT- Communicate with individuals that you have played with when your partner is not in the conversation. Don’t go there, unless it has been openly discussed and is acceptable to all involved.  Do NOT- Ghost people, try to let people know if you aren’t able to make a date.  Do NOT- Assume. Get consent, this goes for men and women.  Do NOT- Take one for [...]

Swinger Burnout

It’s exciting. It’s exhilarating. It can also be exhausting. The swinger lifestyle can take a lot of time. Between answering emails, perusing profiles, Kik conversations, the list goes on and on. Too much of a good thing is not necessarily a good thing. In the early part of your open relationship journey, you can tend to be hyped up on adrenaline of the unknown. Once you are a bit more seasoned, the excitement may be more of a challenge to attain. An ideal four-way connection between couples is not easy to find, and looking for it can be even more difficult. Going out for drinks or dinner regularly only to find out that the vibe is not there can be frustrating (in more ways that one!). It takes work and patience. Many of my friends in the swinger lifestyle have ‘regulars’ that they see when they feel freaky. These are couples in the lifestyle that they have already met in the past. Steady swinger playmates eliminate the ‘work’ so [...]

I Tried to be a Chameleon

Yes, I was raised conservatively but with blinders on. Anything that would raise a normal curiosity or question was explained to be taboo. The internet was not a thing when I was a kid, so I was left to figure it out on my own, through the vast knowledge of my friends. My parents felt that if you don’t discuss it, it won’t exist. That is not the case. I had ‘normal’ sexual curiosity since I was young. Looking back, I believe that my interest in sex was and remains a bit stronger than other women my age. I have always been drawn to the taboo, pushing the limits of the social norms and bending the rules a bit. These characteristics are why opening my marriage was like a breath of fresh air to me. Even though my subconscious was a very dirty girl, my main mindset was a forced conservative. Who would let somebody else have sex with their spouse? That would be insane. How could I be [...]

Why Did You Open A Swinging Website?

“What made you want to start a swinger’s site?” A question we get at each event we attend. Honestly, Dave and I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into with taking on such a project.  Dave’s background is with digital marketing and information technology, and I have no experience in that world whatsoever. We both found the swinging lifestyle to be a great addition to our already satisfying marriage. The only thing we did not like about the lifestyle was the lifestyle websites. As we met more friends in our journey into consensual non-monogamy, the more we heard that others shared our dislike for the lifestyle website options. One day we had a great idea! We decided to develop a new option for our fellow swingers, and that is how the idea of how Double Date Nation was born. A lot of time goes into building a site from nothing. I have a new respect for non-template websites. It took nearly a year to fine-tune the actual [...]

In a Perfect World

We don’t live in a perfect world and we never will. The reality of perfection is so out of the realm of possibility; we wouldn’t recognize it if it slapped us on the butt. But I digress, in a perfect world we wouldn’t feel chastised for expressing ourselves as we wanted. Society places such an intense amount of pressure on conformity. You must look happy in all pictures and have a happy dog. The problem is that nobody in these prepped, filtered and photo-shopped feeds are a reality. If we could only see, hear or even smell what was happening as the subject was taking the ‘perfect’ picture. I can only imagine and screaming baby, burning mac and cheese or Jerry Springer playing in the background. The picture that presents to the world is a beautiful person, with flawless skin and most importantly is ‘beyond blessed’ as stated in the thread below the picture of eloquent bullshit. Why do we fall into this trend? The same thing goes for [...]