Picture it; I am enjoying my self-mixed vodka and orange juice at a lifestyle club recently. I am approached by a woman that made sure that I knew first thing that she was only there because her crazy friends dared her to go after happy hour. I introduced myself sensing her discomposure, assuming that she could use a friend. I asked her what her thoughts were about our surroundings at that point. She told me that she couldn’t possibly understand how what ‘these people’ were taking part in is not considered cheating. Cheating? I was taken back a bit, and
Here are some faux pas for swinging lifestyle etiquette, in the eyes of Admin Andi for what it’s worth. Do NOT- Have sex in the lifestyle without using protection, ever, ever, ever. Cover it up or all bets are off. Do NOT- Post outdated or overly photo-shopped pictures on your online profile. Why would you? Once you meet, the truth is exposed. Save everyone time, be honest up front. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re sexy just the way you are. Do NOT- Lie to your spouse. Always keep clear lines of communication, the truth can hurt but lying
It’s exciting. It’s exhilarating. It can also be exhausting. The swinger lifestyle can take a lot of time. Between answering emails, perusing profiles, Kik conversations, the list goes on and on. Too much of a good thing is not necessarily a good thing. In the early part of your open relationship journey, you can tend to be hyped up on adrenaline of the unknown. Once you are a bit more seasoned, the excitement may be more of a challenge to attain. An ideal four-way connection between couples is not easy to find, and looking for it can be even more
We don’t live in a perfect world and we never will. The reality of perfection is so out of the realm of possibility; we wouldn’t recognize it if it slapped us on the butt. But I digress, in a perfect world we wouldn’t feel chastised for expressing ourselves as we wanted. Society places such an intense amount of pressure on conformity. You must look happy in all pictures and have a happy dog. The problem is that nobody in these prepped, filtered and photo-shopped feeds are a reality. If we could only see, hear or even smell what was happening
Now let’s start with this; these are both resorts that do not require nudity or even topless patrons. With that said, if you have never gone topless or nude before you may feel comfortable in doing so before you leave the resort. Our first trip was to Desire Pearl, and we were pretty much terrified. We stood at our glass door and look out at the pool where everyone seemed to be in the buff. We looked at each other and just said, “let’s do this.” The pool is larger at Pearl as well as the hot tub. There is
Who are other swingers? Where do you find other swingers? Who can we trust? What if we don’t like it? What if only one of us likes the swinging lifestyle? I wish there were a simple, easy solution to answering these questions. The best way to figure these out is to step out and explore a bit. If you set up a profile on a lifestyle dating site like Double Date Nation you can anonymously browse and even flirt with potential swinger friends. Websites are a safe, non-committal approach. Keep lines of communication open between partners, and it is a
In my opinion, we should all have well-defined boundaries. Despite having discussed several scenarios and experiences with our partner, unforeseeable events can and likely, will arise. For instance, close friends of mine have a ‘no kissing’ rule. They do engage in full swap, but they do not kiss other people on the mouth. In one circumstance, they were in an intense sexual experience. There was a lot of chemistry and a good four-way connection. In the heat of the moment, the female member of the opposite couple planted a kiss right on the male member of the no kissing club.
The transition to playtime can be awkward enough as it is, but when there is not a four-way attraction and rejection is inevitable, that can be even more awkward. Avoiding this pressure often can lead to the feeling of this pressure overpowering doing the right thing for yourself. It is so easy to feel a sense of obligation in these situations. You spend time getting to know a couple and know how rare it is that they get a babysitter and go out to let their freak flag fly. Despite that pressure, you don’t owe anybody. This mindset should be
What is the first thing you think of when somebody mentions Lifestyle Resort? Sex, parties, and alcohol? Not necessarily, but possible. Once you arrive at a clothing-optional resort, it can be sensory overload. Many people find themselves pulling back and having immediate panic. Just keep telling yourself it is going to be ok! You don’t have to do anything that you are not comfortable with doing. Of course, there are always exceptions to this, but I believe, for the most part, the pressure is relatively low. Honestly, it is easy to spot a newbie or a first-timer at one of
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