The world of swinging or open marriage or consensual non-monogamy has evolved so much over the past five years. There are bloggers, influencers, podcasters, just to name a few that have inspired those contemplating the lifestyle. Everybody is looking for something to enhance their life, and the lifestyle is no different. There is no ‘one size fits all’ answer for the best place to get advice for the swinging lifestyle. Give a few a try and see who resonates with your vision and personality. These outlets don’t necessarily offer advice but share their personal stories that you can draw your
“The world was my oyster, but I used the wrong fork.” ~Oscar Wilde I was not brought up in a fancy, upscale environment. I could still use some polishing. Nobody taught me which fork was necessary, because there was always only one available! However, I was taught to treat others with respect regardless of their position in a situation. In the swinging lifestyle, this still applies, if not more than in everyday life. When you meet with another couple or single for a potential play scenario, remember to compliment. Being a little old fashioned is still a thing, for me
Your mother probably reminded you often to mind your manners, especially when away from home. Bennett Cerf said, “Good manners is the noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.” Manners are just as important in the swinging lifestyle as in any other facet of life, if not more important. You are entering into a very intimate situation with very vulnerable people. Keep in mind that sensitivity to feelings and being considerate is important; this is not a situation to become an animal. Make your mother proud, well, you know what I mean. When you are on a date with
Compersion is the opposite of jealousy. Described as an empathetic erotic feeling experienced when your partner enjoys sexual play with another person. Compersion can be experienced many different ways. Whether you play together or separately, the joy you experience when the person you love experiences sexual satisfaction from another person can often be described as the most powerful type of love. This takes you to a new and intense level of trust and intimacy. Society is very judgmental on most types of swinging or partner swapping. Most people remain discreet and somewhat ashamed of these choices. Choosing to be in
Open relationships have a long history of potential judgment from the more conservative mindsets. Partner swapping can be regarded as odd or perverted. The truth is that the benefits of open relationships have been around for many generations and will likely only continue to grow. If you and your partner are interested in expanding your sexual horizons, a great place to start is on a lifestyle dating site like Double Date Nation. DDN offers many statuses, including a ‘no expectations’ status. Proper security allows you to be upfront with a potential date that you are not interested in currently taking
Swinger clubs are not a crazed field of orgies and porn scenes. Now, are there sexual acts that you can find? Probably. Do you have to take part? Not. If you are new to the swinging lifestyle, these are likely questions you ask yourself. You can expect dancing and drinking. Most of these clubs are BYOB, where you bring your own liquor and the club provides mixers etc. Booze is great and can be considered liquid courage. However, it can also play against you. Too much drinking can lead to bad decisions and even worse, whiskey dick. Nobody likes a
Monogamy is the act of a person being married to one person at a time. Does that mean that we can still enjoy the physical touch of someone outside of that marriage? With an open mind, many couples are turning to ethical non-monogamy. Having an open relationship is the choice of opening their relationship to sex with others. Some people practice polygamy, which is more of an emotional relationship with others, that is another blog. Non-monogamous couples report that their relationships are stronger when they ‘play’ outside of just the two of them. With boundaries in place and fantasies discussed
My vanilla friends ask the age-old question, “why?” That is such a loaded question. The answer varies, as does the diversity of people that are involved in the swinging lifestyle. Conservative views of marriage are that it is built on love and monogamy only. People become involved in the swinging lifestyle for many reasons. Some people may have been married for decades, and although they are best friends and inexplicably in love, they crave spark. Life is satisfying based on their combined accomplishments, family and careers. Retirees that I have met in the lifestyle travel the world and enjoy expanding
My initial response is that ONLY happy couples are successful as swingers! The swinger lifestyle is a complex one. Often the stereotypical view of ‘swingers’ is that it is a huge orgy or group sex party every weekend. While it might be for some, in my experience, that is not how it has been for me. It is not for the faint of heart, but it is extremely powerful in bringing two (or more) people together on many levels. If you are in a relationship that has a sturdy foundation of trust, then that is a good place to start.
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