DDN Blog

Mind Your Manners – Part One

Your mother probably reminded you often to mind your manners, especially when away from home. Bennett Cerf said, “Good manners is the noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.” Manners are just as important in the swinging lifestyle as in any other facet of life, if not more important. You are entering into a very intimate situation with very vulnerable people. Keep in mind that sensitivity to feelings and being considerate is important; this is not a situation to become an animal. Make your mother proud, well, you know what I mean.  When you are on a date with another couple, keep in mind that you are being interviewed. If you don’t treat them or the people around you well, it will likely affect your future play potential. It is just keeping in line with being a good human to treat wait staff or anybody else with decency.  Dave and I were on a date that was going pretty well. There was a four-way attraction and we decided [...]

Understanding Compersion vs. Jealousy in an Open Relationship

Compersion is the opposite of jealousy.  Described as an empathetic erotic feeling experienced when your partner enjoys sexual play with another person.  Compersion can be experienced many different ways. Whether you play together or separately, the joy you experience when the person you love experiences sexual satisfaction from another person can often be described as the most powerful type of love. This takes you to a new and intense level of trust and intimacy. Society is very judgmental on most types of swinging or partner swapping. Most people remain discreet and somewhat ashamed of these choices. Choosing to be in the lifestyle offers a new opportunity to be aroused by true fantasy rather than feeling the need to keep fantasies suppressed. It may take some time to figure out how to meet people to play with, but they are out there. Creating a profile on a lifestyle dating site like Double Date Nation is a great place to start.  Compersion also allows bi-curiosity to be explored. Many people have [...]

Benefits of Joining a Lifestyle Dating Site

Open relationships have a long history of potential judgment from the more conservative mindsets. Partner swapping can be regarded as odd or perverted. The truth is that the benefits of open relationships have been around for many generations and will likely only continue to grow. If you and your partner are interested in expanding your sexual horizons, a great place to start is on a lifestyle dating site like Double Date Nation. DDN offers many statuses, including a ‘no expectations’ status. Proper security allows you to be upfront with a potential date that you are not interested in currently taking things to a physical level if you plan a meeting. When you are looking into a lifestyle dating site, be sure to verify that your information is secure. If a site is not properly encrypted, your identity or personal information could be at risk. We take this very seriously at DDN; in fact, it was the driving force of creating the entire concept of DDN. Having a safe place [...]

What to Expect at a Lifestyle Club

Swinger clubs are not a crazed field of orgies and porn scenes. Now, are there sexual acts that you can find? Probably. Do you have to take part? Not. If you are new to the swinging lifestyle, these are likely questions you ask yourself. You can expect dancing and drinking. Most of these clubs are BYOB, where you bring your own liquor and the club provides mixers etc. Booze is great and can be considered liquid courage. However, it can also play against you. Too much drinking can lead to bad decisions and even worse, whiskey dick. Nobody likes a sloppy drunk; it is not sexy. Moderate your drinking, especially if it is your first time attending a lifestyle club.  Most clubs require a membership or a pre-application process before you attend. Be sure to check the guidelines beforehand, or you might find yourself standing outside of a club without the proper approval. Applying for entry is typically a sensible process; the clubs want to verify you are who [...]

We Can Do This!

Can two people remain monogamous for a lifetime? Absolutely. Do most people? Probably not. Couples that choose to be in an open marriage are most likely realistic about the feasibility of monogamy. The mindset of many in the swinging lifestyle is that being faithful is more about being completely open and honest with your partner, rather than deceit.  There are benefits to having an open relationship. Surprisingly, the fact that you actually can be brought closer to your partner. Having an open relationship, or ‘swinging’ is not for everyone. But those that do delve into the naughty abyss, often find that their relationship is stronger and sexier than ever.  I found that my husband and I understand each other better. There were things that neither of us ever divulged since societal norms told us that feeling different than what we had been taught was not acceptable. Being able to listen to each other's fantasies and then work together actually to make them a reality is the sexiest part of [...]

Breaking the ‘Chains’

Monogamy is the act of a person being married to one person at a time. Does that mean that we can still enjoy the physical touch of someone outside of that marriage? With an open mind, many couples are turning to ethical non-monogamy. Having an open relationship is the choice of opening their relationship to sex with others. Some people practice polygamy, which is more of an emotional relationship with others, that is another blog. Non-monogamous couples report that their relationships are stronger when they ‘play’ outside of just the two of them. With boundaries in place and fantasies discussed and open relationship can blossom into the ability to make fantasy real life. Let’s start with being open-minded. If you can’t listen, without judgment to your partner's fantasies and kinks, then non-monogamy may not be for you. You must have the ability to love them unconditionally, even when they tell you things you are not expecting. Many men hold back their bisexual curiosity because of fear of ridicule. You [...]

Tips for Having a Successful Open Relationship

What does it mean to have an open relationship? Monogamish, swinging, polyamory, there are many terms that could describe open relationships. How do you know if this kind of relationship is good for you? Some people find themselves drifting toward being more open minded after a specific sexual experience, like a threesome. Threesomes are often the gateway to swinging lifestyle. One reason to avoid opening your relationship is to attempt to repair damage caused in the past due to infidelity or abuse. Take heed, open relationships are not for the faint of heart. It takes trust and faith in each other to achieve the benefits. Start off with listing your boundaries, have an open minded discussion. Be willing to listen as easily as you speak. You may not expect what you hear your partner state their fantasies or kinks are. Don’t react with judgment or you risk having your partner clam up. These discussions should be a safe place to be real without ridicule. Be prepared to evolve and [...]

By |2020-01-21T05:40:36+00:00January 10th, 2020|Open Marriage, Open Relationship, Swinger Lifestyle|0 Comments

Why Would Anyone Become a Swinger?

My vanilla friends ask the age-old question, “why?” That is such a loaded question. The answer varies, as does the diversity of people that are involved in the swinging lifestyle. Conservative views of marriage are that it is built on love and monogamy only. People become involved in the swinging lifestyle for many reasons. Some people may have been married for decades, and although they are best friends and inexplicably in love, they crave spark. Life is satisfying based on their combined accomplishments, family and careers. Retirees that I have met in the lifestyle travel the world and enjoy expanding their minds and experiences. It has been described to me as being the best time in their lives; children are grown and gone from home. Now they take time for themselves. Others find themselves in the swinging lifestyle because of bisexual curiosity. It takes courage to open up about sexuality, but sometimes it is even tougher to open up about bisexuality. The swinging lifestyle is a place that curiosities [...]

Can a Happily Married Couple be Successful Swingers?

My initial response is that ONLY happy couples are successful as swingers! The swinger lifestyle is a complex one. Often the stereotypical view of ‘swingers’ is that it is a huge orgy or group sex party every weekend. While it might be for some, in my experience, that is not how it has been for me. It is not for the faint of heart, but it is extremely powerful in bringing two (or more) people together on many levels. If you are in a relationship that has a sturdy foundation of trust, then that is a good place to start. Swinging opens up many doors emotionally and psychologically. I would imagine that most people don’t wake up and decide that they are going to become swingers without any forethought. In my case, it was an ongoing discussion of fantasies and desires. In my conservative upbringing, an open relationship was cheating, plain and simple. There is no grey area, no room for being human. The conversation evolved to more ‘taboo’ [...]

How is Swinging Different from Cheating?

Picture it; I am enjoying my self-mixed vodka and orange juice at a lifestyle club recently. I am approached by a woman that made sure that I knew first thing that she was only there because her crazy friends dared her to go after happy hour. I introduced myself sensing her discomposure, assuming that she could use a friend.  I asked her what her thoughts were about our surroundings at that point. She told me that she couldn’t possibly understand how what ‘these people’ were taking part in is not considered cheating. Cheating? I was taken back a bit, and I guess I have never looked at the swinging lifestyle in that way. I try to see different perspectives, so I continued with the conversation. I asked her to give me her definition of cheating. She realized almost instantly that the definition did not fit the activities in the club that night. The words that come to mind when I define ‘cheating’ is- deception, fornication, affair. None of these [...]