DDN Blog

Covid-19

What are people in the swinging lifestyle community doing in times like the coronavirus pandemic? What are clubs and resorts doing to address the safety of their patrons? What are you doing to make sure that you are safe? These are all the questions looming around this serious health concern in our world today. The media tends to provoke fear when it is unnecessary; however, the pandemic has proven itself to be very serious. Some people started making plans when the news first launched information on Covid-19, others waited until the authorities mandated restrictions. Clubs had a decision to make, and this decision was whether or not to continue the revenue stream or to close the doors considering their health as well as their members. Those in the swinging lifestyle tend to attend events and parties that include large groups. When the behavior of these events is considered, this could be a potential breeding ground for spreading this harmful virus. Many people in the swinging lifestyle greet others that [...]

Hedonism II

Recently we were fortunate enough to visit Hedo II in Negril, Jamaica. For Dave and I, this was our first trip, and we were not sure what to expect. Anytime that you visit a clothing-optional resort-like Hedo, it always makes it much easier when you know people at the resort when you arrive. Having friends around can help ease the anxiety of the unknown. When we arrived, we checked in and took a tour of the resort. There is a ‘prude’ side and a ‘nude’ side. There are pools scattered around the resort, with people at like any vanilla resort. The ‘nude’ side is a bit more lively, music and more people in general. There is a grill and a bar on the nude side for snacks and unlimited drinks and shots. Our room was located on the ‘prude’ side, which was on the opposite side of the resort, so we had to walk a reasonable distance even to get to the main dining hall. There is a buffet [...]

Beautiful Inside-Out

Women have always had a tough time feeling the pressure of keeping up appearances. Now that social media and filters are popular; it’s damn near impossible. Aging is inevitable, and it seems that men become ‘distinguished’ women become ‘old.’ It is not a perfect vantage point, in my opinion. I think women of all ages have the beauty that comes with wisdom and life experience, but not everyone shares my opinion—joining the lifestyle spares no pressure, unfortunately. I have learned one thing in the swinger lifestyle, don’t overthink it. If you have a sexy date coming up, you aren’t going to morph yourself into perfection before next weekend. Is that what it’s all about?  The idea of feeling like I have to submit perfection is not sexy to me, not to mention, it is too much pressure. I want to play in the lifestyle because of how it enhances an already stellar sexual connection that I share with my husband. I don’t engage in lifestyle play to receive accolades [...]

Where Do I Find Good Advice about Non-Monogamy?

The world of swinging or open marriage or consensual non-monogamy has evolved so much over the past five years. There are bloggers, influencers, podcasters, just to name a few that have inspired those contemplating the lifestyle.  Everybody is looking for something to enhance their life, and the lifestyle is no different. There is no ‘one size fits all’ answer for the best place to get advice for the swinging lifestyle. Give a few a try and see who resonates with your vision and personality. These outlets don’t necessarily offer advice but share their personal stories that you can draw your conclusions from. It is nice to hear a perspective from another that has been in a precarious situation. These stories can often help you NOT to get into the same precarious situation! Podcasts are typically entertaining and full of personal stories and perspectives. Some are raunchier than others, so there is a full menu to choose whose style you prefer.  Bloggers tend to be very informative and fact-based. People [...]

Mind Your Manners – Part Two

“The world was my oyster, but I used the wrong fork.” ~Oscar Wilde I was not brought up in a fancy, upscale environment. I could still use some polishing. Nobody taught me which fork was necessary, because there was always only one available! However, I was taught to treat others with respect regardless of their position in a situation. In the swinging lifestyle, this still applies, if not more than in everyday life. When you meet with another couple or single for a potential play scenario, remember to compliment. Being a little old fashioned is still a thing, for me anyway. This goes for both men and women. Everyone loves to be told they are attractive or are desired. Most people are nervous on a date or in a swinging scenario, and kindness goes a long way.  Manners are great, however, don’t forget your partner too! If you are caught up in only complimenting the potential playmate, your partner may feel left out. Also, do not forget to be [...]

Mind Your Manners – Part One

Your mother probably reminded you often to mind your manners, especially when away from home. Bennett Cerf said, “Good manners is the noise you don’t make when you’re eating soup.” Manners are just as important in the swinging lifestyle as in any other facet of life, if not more important. You are entering into a very intimate situation with very vulnerable people. Keep in mind that sensitivity to feelings and being considerate is important; this is not a situation to become an animal. Make your mother proud, well, you know what I mean.  When you are on a date with another couple, keep in mind that you are being interviewed. If you don’t treat them or the people around you well, it will likely affect your future play potential. It is just keeping in line with being a good human to treat wait staff or anybody else with decency.  Dave and I were on a date that was going pretty well. There was a four-way attraction and we decided [...]

Understanding Compersion vs. Jealousy in an Open Relationship

Compersion is the opposite of jealousy.  Described as an empathetic erotic feeling experienced when your partner enjoys sexual play with another person.  Compersion can be experienced many different ways. Whether you play together or separately, the joy you experience when the person you love experiences sexual satisfaction from another person can often be described as the most powerful type of love. This takes you to a new and intense level of trust and intimacy. Society is very judgmental on most types of swinging or partner swapping. Most people remain discreet and somewhat ashamed of these choices. Choosing to be in the lifestyle offers a new opportunity to be aroused by true fantasy rather than feeling the need to keep fantasies suppressed. It may take some time to figure out how to meet people to play with, but they are out there. Creating a profile on a lifestyle dating site like Double Date Nation is a great place to start.  Compersion also allows bi-curiosity to be explored. Many people have [...]

Benefits of Joining a Lifestyle Dating Site

Open relationships have a long history of potential judgment from the more conservative mindsets. Partner swapping can be regarded as odd or perverted. The truth is that the benefits of open relationships have been around for many generations and will likely only continue to grow. If you and your partner are interested in expanding your sexual horizons, a great place to start is on a lifestyle dating site like Double Date Nation. DDN offers many statuses, including a ‘no expectations’ status. Proper security allows you to be upfront with a potential date that you are not interested in currently taking things to a physical level if you plan a meeting. When you are looking into a lifestyle dating site, be sure to verify that your information is secure. If a site is not properly encrypted, your identity or personal information could be at risk. We take this very seriously at DDN; in fact, it was the driving force of creating the entire concept of DDN. Having a safe place [...]

What to Expect at a Lifestyle Club

Swinger clubs are not a crazed field of orgies and porn scenes. Now, are there sexual acts that you can find? Probably. Do you have to take part? Not. If you are new to the swinging lifestyle, these are likely questions you ask yourself. You can expect dancing and drinking. Most of these clubs are BYOB, where you bring your own liquor and the club provides mixers etc. Booze is great and can be considered liquid courage. However, it can also play against you. Too much drinking can lead to bad decisions and even worse, whiskey dick. Nobody likes a sloppy drunk; it is not sexy. Moderate your drinking, especially if it is your first time attending a lifestyle club.  Most clubs require a membership or a pre-application process before you attend. Be sure to check the guidelines beforehand, or you might find yourself standing outside of a club without the proper approval. Applying for entry is typically a sensible process; the clubs want to verify you are who [...]

We Can Do This!

Can two people remain monogamous for a lifetime? Absolutely. Do most people? Probably not. Couples that choose to be in an open marriage are most likely realistic about the feasibility of monogamy. The mindset of many in the swinging lifestyle is that being faithful is more about being completely open and honest with your partner, rather than deceit.  There are benefits to having an open relationship. Surprisingly, the fact that you actually can be brought closer to your partner. Having an open relationship, or ‘swinging’ is not for everyone. But those that do delve into the naughty abyss, often find that their relationship is stronger and sexier than ever.  I found that my husband and I understand each other better. There were things that neither of us ever divulged since societal norms told us that feeling different than what we had been taught was not acceptable. Being able to listen to each other's fantasies and then work together actually to make them a reality is the sexiest part of [...]