Swingers

Breaking the ‘Chains’

By |2020-01-21T05:41:52+00:00January 15th, 2020|Open Marriage, Open Relationship, Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swingers|

Monogamy is the act of a person being married to one person at a time. Does that mean that we can still enjoy the physical touch of someone outside of that marriage? With an open mind, many couples are turning to ethical non-monogamy. Having an open relationship is the choice of opening their relationship to sex with others. Some people practice polygamy, which is more of an emotional relationship with others, that is another blog. Non-monogamous couples report that their relationships are stronger when they ‘play’ outside of just the two of them. With boundaries in place and fantasies discussed and open relationship can blossom into the ability to make fantasy real life. Let’s start with being open-minded. If you can’t listen, without judgment to your partner's fantasies and kinks, then non-monogamy may not be for you. You must have the ability to love them unconditionally, even when they tell you things you are not expecting. Many men hold back their bisexual curiosity because of fear of ridicule. You [...]

Why Would Anyone Become a Swinger?

By |2020-01-21T05:39:30+00:00January 1st, 2020|Open Marriage, Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swinger Website, Swingers|

My vanilla friends ask the age-old question, “why?” That is such a loaded question. The answer varies, as does the diversity of people that are involved in the swinging lifestyle. Conservative views of marriage are that it is built on love and monogamy only. People become involved in the swinging lifestyle for many reasons. Some people may have been married for decades, and although they are best friends and inexplicably in love, they crave spark. Life is satisfying based on their combined accomplishments, family and careers. Retirees that I have met in the lifestyle travel the world and enjoy expanding their minds and experiences. It has been described to me as being the best time in their lives; children are grown and gone from home. Now they take time for themselves. Others find themselves in the swinging lifestyle because of bisexual curiosity. It takes courage to open up about sexuality, but sometimes it is even tougher to open up about bisexuality. The swinging lifestyle is a place that curiosities [...]

Can a Happily Married Couple be Successful Swingers?

By |2020-01-21T05:38:35+00:00December 27th, 2019|Open Marriage, Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swinger Website, Swingers|

My initial response is that ONLY happy couples are successful as swingers! The swinger lifestyle is a complex one. Often the stereotypical view of ‘swingers’ is that it is a huge orgy or group sex party every weekend. While it might be for some, in my experience, that is not how it has been for me. It is not for the faint of heart, but it is extremely powerful in bringing two (or more) people together on many levels. If you are in a relationship that has a sturdy foundation of trust, then that is a good place to start. Swinging opens up many doors emotionally and psychologically. I would imagine that most people don’t wake up and decide that they are going to become swingers without any forethought. In my case, it was an ongoing discussion of fantasies and desires. In my conservative upbringing, an open relationship was cheating, plain and simple. There is no grey area, no room for being human. The conversation evolved to more ‘taboo’ [...]

How is Swinging Different from Cheating?

By |2020-01-21T05:36:59+00:00December 16th, 2019|Open Marriage, Sexual Freedom, Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swinger Website, Swingers|

Picture it; I am enjoying my self-mixed vodka and orange juice at a lifestyle club recently. I am approached by a woman that made sure that I knew first thing that she was only there because her crazy friends dared her to go after happy hour. I introduced myself sensing her discomposure, assuming that she could use a friend.  I asked her what her thoughts were about our surroundings at that point. She told me that she couldn’t possibly understand how what ‘these people’ were taking part in is not considered cheating. Cheating? I was taken back a bit, and I guess I have never looked at the swinging lifestyle in that way. I try to see different perspectives, so I continued with the conversation. I asked her to give me her definition of cheating. She realized almost instantly that the definition did not fit the activities in the club that night. The words that come to mind when I define ‘cheating’ is- deception, fornication, affair. None of these [...]

Party Foul

By |2020-01-21T05:35:23+00:00December 10th, 2019|Open Marriage, Sexual Freedom, Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swinger Website, Swingers|

Here are some faux pas for swinging lifestyle etiquette, in the eyes of Admin Andi for what it’s worth.  Do NOT- Have sex in the lifestyle without using protection, ever, ever, ever. Cover it up or all bets are off.  Do NOT- Post outdated or overly photo-shopped pictures on your online profile. Why would you? Once you meet, the truth is exposed. Save everyone time, be honest up front. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re sexy just the way you are.  Do NOT- Lie to your spouse. Always keep clear lines of communication, the truth can hurt but lying is never acceptable.  Do NOT- Communicate with individuals that you have played with when your partner is not in the conversation. Don’t go there, unless it has been openly discussed and is acceptable to all involved.  Do NOT- Ghost people, try to let people know if you aren’t able to make a date.  Do NOT- Assume. Get consent, this goes for men and women.  Do NOT- Take one for [...]

Swinger Burnout

By |2020-01-21T05:44:29+00:00December 3rd, 2019|Open Marriage, Sexual Freedom, Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swinger Website, Swingers|

It’s exciting. It’s exhilarating. It can also be exhausting. The swinger lifestyle can take a lot of time. Between answering emails, perusing profiles, Kik conversations, the list goes on and on. Too much of a good thing is not necessarily a good thing. In the early part of your open relationship journey, you can tend to be hyped up on adrenaline of the unknown. Once you are a bit more seasoned, the excitement may be more of a challenge to attain. An ideal four-way connection between couples is not easy to find, and looking for it can be even more difficult. Going out for drinks or dinner regularly only to find out that the vibe is not there can be frustrating (in more ways that one!). It takes work and patience. Many of my friends in the swinger lifestyle have ‘regulars’ that they see when they feel freaky. These are couples in the lifestyle that they have already met in the past. Steady swinger playmates eliminate the ‘work’ so [...]

I Tried to be a Chameleon

By |2020-01-21T05:44:59+00:00November 5th, 2019|Open Marriage, Sexual Freedom, Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swinger Website, Swingers|

Yes, I was raised conservatively but with blinders on. Anything that would raise a normal curiosity or question was explained to be taboo. The internet was not a thing when I was a kid, so I was left to figure it out on my own, through the vast knowledge of my friends. My parents felt that if you don’t discuss it, it won’t exist. That is not the case. I had ‘normal’ sexual curiosity since I was young. Looking back, I believe that my interest in sex was and remains a bit stronger than other women my age. I have always been drawn to the taboo, pushing the limits of the social norms and bending the rules a bit. These characteristics are why opening my marriage was like a breath of fresh air to me. Even though my subconscious was a very dirty girl, my main mindset was a forced conservative. Who would let somebody else have sex with their spouse? That would be insane. How could I be [...]

So Many Questions!

By |2020-01-21T05:49:23+00:00August 26th, 2019|Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swingers|

Who are other swingers? Where do you find other swingers? Who can we trust? What if we don’t like it? What if only one of us likes the swinging lifestyle? I wish there were a simple, easy solution to answering these questions. The best way to figure these out is to step out and explore a bit. If you set up a profile on a lifestyle dating site like Double Date Nation you can anonymously browse and even flirt with potential swinger friends. Websites are a safe, non-committal approach. Keep lines of communication open between partners, and it is a good idea to go through the profiles together. It can be fun, and you tend to learn a lot about each other when doing so. Some couples designate one person to weed through profiles/messages and then share the best choices that they have chosen; this works as well. You will find what works for you and your partner.  If you are feeling more adventurous, stepping out to an event [...]

Being a Team Player is Not the Same as Taking One for the Team

By |2020-01-21T05:52:27+00:00August 7th, 2019|Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swingers|

The transition to playtime can be awkward enough as it is, but when there is not a four-way attraction and rejection is inevitable, that can be even more awkward. Avoiding this pressure often can lead to the feeling of this pressure overpowering doing the right thing for yourself. It is so easy to feel a sense of obligation in these situations. You spend time getting to know a couple and know how rare it is that they get a babysitter and go out to let their freak flag fly. Despite that pressure, you don’t owe anybody. This mindset should be that of everyone on the date. If somebody is not attracted or not feeling the sexy vibe, it is very difficult to figure out how to bow out even if you step on toes. Feeling pressure to play in the swinging lifestyle is never ok. Every couple should go into a couples date with no expectation unless another plan is determined prior. Sometimes it is helpful to state in [...]

Lifestyle Resorts, Swinger Resorts, Clothing-Optional Resorts

By |2020-01-21T05:52:09+00:00July 31st, 2019|Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swingers|

What is the first thing you think of when somebody mentions Lifestyle Resort? Sex, parties, and alcohol? Not necessarily, but possible. Once you arrive at a clothing-optional resort, it can be sensory overload. Many people find themselves pulling back and having immediate panic. Just keep telling yourself it is going to be ok! You don’t have to do anything that you are not comfortable with doing. Of course, there are always exceptions to this, but I believe, for the most part, the pressure is relatively low. Honestly, it is easy to spot a newbie or a first-timer at one of these resorts, just by the behavior. Some LS resorts give you a specific bracelet that ‘labels’ you are a first time visitor, others let you blend in a bit more. Sometimes being a chameleon is too easy, it can be helpful to have another patron of the resort scoop you up out of your shell. When we arrived at a Lifestyle Resort for the first time, we peeked out [...]