Swinger Blog

Swinger Burnout

By |2019-12-03T18:27:03+00:00December 3rd, 2019|Open Marriage, Sexual Freedom, Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swinger Website, Swingers|

It’s exciting. It’s exhilarating. It can also be exhausting. The swinger lifestyle can take a lot of time. Between answering emails, perusing profiles, Kik conversations, the list goes on and on. Too much of a good thing is not necessarily a good thing. In the early part of your swinging journey, you can tend to be hyped up on adrenaline of the unknown. Once you are a bit more seasoned, the excitement may be more of a challenge to attain. An ideal four-way connection between couples is not easy to find, and looking for it can be even more difficult. Going out for drinks or dinner regularly only to find out that the vibe is not there can be frustrating (in more ways that one!). It takes work and patience. Many of my friends in the swinger lifestyle have ‘regulars’ that they see when they feel freaky. These are couples in the lifestyle that they have already met in the past. Steady swinger playmates eliminate the ‘work’ so to [...]

I Tried to be A Chameleon

By |2019-11-22T13:25:08+00:00November 5th, 2019|Open Marriage, Sexual Freedom, Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swinger Website, Swingers|

Yes, I was raised conservatively but with blinders on. Anything that would raise a normal curiosity or question was explained to be taboo. The internet was not a thing when I was a kid, so I was left to figure it out on my own, through the vast knowledge of my friends. My parents felt that if you don’t discuss it, it won’t exist. That is not the case. I had ‘normal’ sexual curiosity since I was young. Looking back, I believe that my interest in sex was and remains a bit stronger than other women my age. I have always been drawn to the taboo, pushing the limits of the social norms and bending the rules a bit. These characteristics are why opening my marriage was like a breath of fresh air to me. Even though my subconscious was a very dirty girl, my main mindset was a forced conservative. Who would let somebody else have sex with their spouse? That would be insane. How could I be [...]

Why Did You Open A Swinging Website?

By |2019-11-22T13:25:35+00:00October 17th, 2019|How To Find Swigners, Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swinger Website|

“What made you want to start a swinger’s site?” A question we get at each event we attend. Honestly, Dave and I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into with taking on such a project.  Dave’s background is with digital marketing and information technology, and I have no experience in that world whatsoever. We both found the swinging lifestyle to be a great addition to our already satisfying marriage. The only thing we did not like about the lifestyle was the lifestyle websites. As we met more friends in our journey into consensual non-monogamy, the more we heard that others shared our dislike for the lifestyle website options. One day we had a great idea! We decided to develop a new option for our fellow swingers, and that is how the idea of how Double Date Nation was born. A lot of time goes into building a site from nothing. I have a new respect for non-template websites. It took nearly a year to fine-tune the actual [...]

In a Perfect World

By |2019-11-22T13:25:47+00:00September 17th, 2019|Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle|

We don’t live in a perfect world and we never will. The reality of perfection is so out of the realm of possibility; we wouldn’t recognize it if it slapped us on the butt. But I digress, in a perfect world we wouldn’t feel chastised for expressing ourselves as we wanted. Society places such an intense amount of pressure on conformity. You must look happy in all pictures and have a happy dog. The problem is that nobody in these prepped, filtered and photoshopped feeds are a reality. If we could only see, hear or even smell what was happening as the subject was taking the ‘perfect’ picture. I can only imagine and screaming baby, burning mac and cheese or Jerry Springer playing in the background. The picture that presents to the world is a beautiful person, with flawless skin and most importantly is ‘beyond blessed’ as stated in the thread below the picture of eloquent bullshit. Why do we fall into this trend? The same thing goes for [...]

Desire Pearl VS Desire RM

By |2019-11-22T13:25:59+00:00September 12th, 2019|Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swinger Resorts|

Now let’s start with this; these are both resorts that do not require nudity or even topless patrons. With that said, if you have never gone topless or nude before you may feel comfortable in doing so before you leave the resort. Our first trip was to Desire Pearl, and we were pretty much terrified. We stood at our glass door and look out at the pool where everyone seemed to be in the buff. We looked at each other and just said, “let’s do this.” The pool is larger at Pearl as well as the hot tub. There is a swim-up pool bar at both resorts which is very nice. The ‘Playmakers’ are very good at getting activities going during the days, whether it be pool volleyball or sexy games. You do not have to participate in the activities at either resort; we did not find there to be any pressure to do so. The beach at Pearl battles a lot of seaweed that gets washed up onto [...]

So Many Questions!

By |2019-11-22T13:26:06+00:00August 26th, 2019|Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swingers|

Who are other swingers? Where do you find other swingers? Who can we trust? What if we don’t like it? What if only one of us likes the swinging lifestyle? I wish there were a simple, easy solution to answering these questions. The best way to figure these out is to step out and explore a bit. If you set up a profile on a lifestyle dating site like Double Date Nation you can anonymously browse and even flirt with potential swinger friends. Websites are a safe, non-committal approach. Keep lines of communication open between partners, and it is a good idea to go through the profiles together. It can be fun, and you tend to learn a lot about each other when doing so. Some couples designate one person to weed through profiles/messages and then share the best choices that they have chosen; this works as well. You will find what works for you and your partner.  If you are feeling more adventurous, stepping out to an event [...]

The Margin of Error in the Lifestyle-Keep it Realistic

By |2019-11-22T13:26:17+00:00August 14th, 2019|Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Uncategorized|

In my opinion, we should all have well-defined boundaries. Despite having discussed several scenarios and experiences with our partner, unforeseeable events can and likely, will arise. For instance, close friends of mine have a ‘no kissing’ rule. They do engage in full swap, but they do not kiss other people on the mouth. In one circumstance, they were in an intense sexual experience. There was a lot of chemistry and a good four-way connection. In the heat of the moment, the female member of the opposite couple planted a kiss right on the male member of the no kissing club. He reciprocated the kiss and did not turn away. Later he explained that he was caught up in the moment and did not want to disturb the energy.  The problem was that his wife saw this happen and became very upset and stopped all play immediately and left the room. He had a split second to make a choice, and he ultimately made the wrong one. Ground rules and [...]

Being a Team Player is Not the Same as Taking One for the Team

By |2019-11-22T13:26:23+00:00August 7th, 2019|Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swingers|

The transition to playtime can be awkward enough as it is, but when there is not a four-way attraction and rejection is inevitable, that can be even more awkward. Avoiding this pressure often can lead to the feeling of this pressure overpowering doing the right thing for yourself. It is so easy to feel a sense of obligation in these situations. You spend time getting to know a couple and know how rare it is that they get a babysitter and go out to let their freak flag fly. Despite that pressure, you don’t owe anybody. This mindset should be that of everyone on the date. If somebody is not attracted or not feeling the sexy vibe, it is very difficult to figure out how to bow out even if you step on toes. Feeling pressure to play in the swinging lifestyle is never ok. Every couple should go into a couples date with no expectation unless another plan is determined prior. Sometimes it is helpful to state in [...]

Lifestyle Resorts, Swinger Resorts, Clothing-Optional Resorts

By |2019-11-22T13:26:31+00:00July 31st, 2019|Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swingers|

What is the first thing you think of when somebody mentions Lifestyle Resort? Sex, parties, and alcohol? Not necessarily, but possible. Once you arrive at a clothing-optional resort, it can be sensory overload. Many people find themselves pulling back and having immediate panic. Just keep telling yourself it is going to be ok! You don’t have to do anything that you are not comfortable with doing. Of course, there are always exceptions to this, but I believe, for the most part, the pressure is relatively low. Honestly, it is easy to spot a newbie or a first-timer at one of these resorts, just by the behavior. Some LS resorts give you a specific bracelet that ‘labels’ you are a first time visitor, others let you blend in a bit more. Sometimes being a chameleon is too easy, it can be helpful to have another patron of the resort scoop you up out of your shell. When we arrived at a Lifestyle Resort for the first time, we peeked out [...]

Do ‘Swingers’ Get Jealous?

By |2019-11-22T13:26:41+00:00July 23rd, 2019|Swinger Blog, Swinger Lifestyle, Swingers|

Short answer, yes. Those who are in the lifestyle will likely experience normal emotional responses. It can happen, jealousy can creep in. Communication is so important. The intentionality may be completely innocent during an explicit experience, but how your partner perceives could be opposite. It is possible to have communicated with your partner before a lifestyle experience, and the perception of the actual event can still be ambiguous. You do what you can to prevent the issue, but if and when it does arise you should be prepared to deal with it, head-on. It is not difficult to see when your partner is upset, whether it be from directly stating it to even being passive-aggressive.  Full disclosure and reconnection are important after a lifestyle experience, especially when something seems amiss. It has happened to all of us. Handling this correctly and delicately can help you both learn from the issue and make sure that blurred lines are cleared up. Your relationship is monolithic, and it is important to [...]