Bringing Fantasy to Reality: Public Sex

Jess & Brandon address a listener who wants to “convince” his wife to fulfill his fantasy. They discuss the appeal of public sex and how you can build upon your fantasies in a safe way and incorporate your partner.

Please see some summary notes from this podcast below:

I may be weird but I want to have sex in public. How can I convince my wife to fulfill this fantasy?

Public sex carries an element of risk, which can heighten excitement, desire, passion and intimacy — if you balance this risk to ensure personal safety. I often suggest that the formula for a lasting relationship involves cultivating so much love, safety, trust and respect that you can engage in non-sexual behaviours and/or explore fantasies that are a little risky. Having sex in public is one example of an activity that can heighten passion without huge risk as long as you consider your local laws.

Not everyone consents to watching or hearing you have sex, so be mindful and respectful of others’ boundaries. If you go shopping with your younger sibling or child, you don’t want to hear a couple having sex in the next fitting room. If you go for a walk with your grandmother, you don’t expect to see a couple getting it on behind a tree. You can experiment with elements of public sex without exposing yourself to non-consenting parties. Consider the time, place, lighting and other logistics as you explore this fantasy. A public park or parking lot at 3am likely provides less privacy than it does at 2am.

But you don’t have to have sex in front of a crowd to benefit from the thrill of public sex. Consider the following strategies to enjoy the risk and reward without reaping negative consequences:

1. Have sex on your own property — on the balcony or in your yard (in the dark), for example. You’ll enjoy the thrill of being outdoors and the threat of being watched or caught, but you can control the degree of exposure and slip back inside at any point in time. Be sure to turn off the outdoor and indoor lights so that your neighbours won’t be able to see you in action.

Other semi-public options include the car, single-stall restrooms and fitting rooms.

2. Expand your definitions of sex. Don’t get hung up on P-V intercourse. Time and space won’t always allow for all types of sex, so get your quickie on using your hands, lips, tongue and even toys — consider a wearable toy like the new We-Vibe Moxie. Wear it while shopping and give your partner the reins of control (using the remote control or the WeConnect smartphone app).

3. You don’t have to “finish”. Obviously there is no universal finish line for sex, but oftentimes, we become focused on reaching orgasm as the ultimate goal. Instead of striving to climax in a public space, consider getting started in public with dirty talk, discreet touching, sexting, rubbing through clothing under the table and other activities before moving into a private space to follow up.

4. Go to a sex club or event where on-site sex is permitted. You can enjoy the thrill of exhibitionism without the risk of violating others’ consent.

This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts.


Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on linkedin
On Key

Related Posts

Mr. and Mrs. Jones with the We Gotta Thing swinger podcast.

87: Episode 87: Normalization by Exposure

In this episode we discuss how our perceptions change to our reality the more we are exposed to actual events. All of us have pre-lifestyle perceptions, newbie lifestyle perceptions and even veteran lifestyle perceptions that can change- but only if…

186: Ep 186 – The Curious Fox (Jacqueline Misla)

Jacqueline is so many things… She’s a mother, Latine, polyamorous, queer, pansexual, educator, organizational strategist, the co-host of the Curious Fox podcast and COO of the Curious Fox, and overall a super badass person! This discussion covers every…

Bedroom Bliss Swinger Lifestyle Podcast.

23: Meeting, Greeting, & MFM’ing

This podcast is about the lifestyle from the perspective of a married interracial couple. This episode we talk about 2 meet & greets we went to. And then we have a play by play of a sexy night we have with a new single male, Ken. 
Want some sexy behind t…

105: bh105: Mr H’s sister and chums

Thanks for taking a look at our show. In this happy instalment Mr H’s sister (and her two friends) interview us on everything they’d like to know about the swinging lifestyle.
From jealousy to rules to ‘please don’t spill that on my recording equipment’ …